FINDING YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE & WORTH

It can be so easy to fall into that rut, the not liking yourself rut. Where everything gets on top of you rut, where you hate how you look rut, every damn little thing gets you feeling down rut - I know, just how difficult that can be, I wasn't always as confident as I am now, I use to be this shy, closed in, timid little thing. This is coming from someone who spent their secondary school years being bullied by the other girls in my year, constant nit-picking at the way you look on an every day basis isn't easy to shake off let me tell you. This use to effect me in so many ways you couldn't even imagine, I'd be weary of crowds out of fear of being judged. It's not easy to pick yourself back up when something like this happens, sadly to say it massively played a part in my low self esteem and lack of confidence issues for sure, if not being the major culprit.




One day however after crying in the toilet's, I decided enough was enough and I didn't want to be this timid, shy, feeling like I wasn't good enough or I wasn't going to achieve. I gave up on these feelings, I decided I wanted to stand taller and be someone I can happy to see staring back at the mirror. - Even having Anxiety issues, I still wanted to not be held back. When you realize people are putting you down because they want to see you fall and out of jealously, once you learn that, you'll then start to think why should I give them that satisfaction? You're just you, I am just me, this is who you are. You should never ever have to change to please someone else, if they tell you to do so elimate that from your life, you don't need toxic people like this if someone really appreciates you for you, you wont have too. “One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”  - Micheal J Fox.







Sometimes all it takes is just simple changes, steps if you wish. I found these really helpful if i'm honest it's time to find you, be you and embrace how incredible you are, praise yourself and love you for you.





stop comparing yourself  Lets be honest here, we're all guilty of this. I use to do this so much to the point where i'd physically and emotionally feel so awful about myself, looks, the way my body was, allsorts of things if i'm honest, even the daftest. We don't see other peoples flaws, the things they don't like about themselves just the good things resulting in of course, us seeing our worst bits and pieces or the things about ourselves that we don't like this then leaving us in the crummiest of moods as the inevitable of 'putting our selves down in comparing' we're then left with despair. It's difficult with every day life, adverts and social media etc thinking we have to look a certain way, act or be the 'skinner girl not the curvy one' you can strive for those things though, if you've seen an image and you want to work towards something, it's a goal of yours then you go for that. Or simply, honestly your body, your image, you in general, you're brilliant and start to believe that. Just reject those feelings of wanting to compare you to someone else, by the way i'm not just saying it can just be an image you can compare yourself too, it can be anything.




Celebrate You. This is so important, this really helped me and it still does. We're all different and you life is yours, and yours alone. You can do as you please - it was designed to be lived by anyone else. You don't have to be like anyone else or pretend to be someone your not. You also don't need to be accepted by anyone else in order to be you either, don't forget the important things like your talents, the things you're good at, the things that you love and the things that make you, you. Things like thinking you're no good or you don't do what that person does or the higher in the job role, things such as these can really hold you back stop you from wanting to shine it can even hold you back wanting to learn something or apply for that certain job role, talking from experience I have done this, many times. I simply now, embrace what i'm good at, love what I do and have confidence in them, you'll go far, kids.




Focus on nothing but the good. This one is something I have struggled with the most definitely, I have anxiety and I think it's so, so easy to just see the negatives and get into that cycle of then feeling bad, low, down and upset and that spur of bad thinking leading onto another way of seeing the issue or issues again and again, when simply just try and see it in a good way, pick apart that bad thought and think ' just because I have a bad day doesn't mean tomorrow will be bad' etc. Be your own centre of attention, stop dwelling and think positive. It's easy once you've done it a few times, I personally keep a diary as sad as that may sound, I will tell myself well done when I have had a good day or something good as happened. Self compassion never hurt anyone my deer's.




learn from the past or mistakes.  Life was never suppose to be you successfully being able to just master every single task. I'd get so upset when I couldn't do something, driving lessons being an example of this, I don't know why we just get so beat up when we fail, or I. But that's just life, i'd then feel so bad afterwards because when doing the task, steering whatever it was again I did it, mistakes are vital. We learn from them we need them in our lives. It helps to motivate us and to help us. ' if at first you don't succeed try, try again' you have all the time you need, life isn't going anywhere and neither are you.





Helping someone. This is so great, it really shows your worth and really does prove to you that you are important it gives us the realization that we do make a difference. Just sitting down with your friend having a cuppa and helping them in their time of need, I help my mum around the house and she really appreciates the extra hand to help and tells me just how helpful I have been. I love helping other people, in fact I try to be there for my friends, boyfriend, anyone if they need it. In return all these people are there for I when I need a shoulder or a strong drink after a hard, emotional day. You may just make yourself feel awesome.






Have dreams, goals, wants and wishes. I have challenged myself so much on my journey to finding my worth and building my confidence, these 4 things make such a difference even if you're like myself or not in that being chronically poorly and just saying to myself, today I will go out and live life. Then doing exactly that is awesome, yes i'll award that, i'll tell myself '' good for me '' or again, like me, suffer with anxiety and that's stopped you from filling off your wanty list.. anyone else have a list of things you want to do? just me?
It's such a great motivator and really warrants you into challenging yourself and achieving so many incredible things, I have things completely bonkers that maybe wont happen but I feel so good for having these aspirations and dreams and goals Id love, intend and hope that'll happen, it's amazing when they do.







Love your weaknesses. These 'weaknesses' make you, you and make you human. I lived by these for so long i'm chronically ill, I have anxiety, i'm not good at this' etc, etc the amount you can think up is crazy. But these made me feel like I wasn't perfect, I had to go by these weaknesses make me lack confidence and really effecting my self esteem massively and ironically making me feel more unwell and triggering yet more anxiety - of course no body is perfect, we all, like you and I have these weaknesses. Accepting them for what they are is the biggest step, I have accepted mine now and when I do fail i'm not phased because im no longer caught out by them, they are me, they make me and make me human.




Circle of support // know you're loved. This has massively played such a part in my life, i'm sometimes left with feeling of being a bad friend because of my illness per say and I cannot hang out with them or where I have had to cancel before on plans and just end up feeling like crummy. I use to find letting people In and opening up to them and letting them see my heart daunting, terrifying and scary and when you think about that, that isn't ridiculous because that is a big thing. Having someone that loves you for all you are, flaws, warts and all. Everything is incredible. If that's a friend, family, partner whoever that may be. It's a real self-confidence builder - just a simple '' you'll do great today ''  or  '' you look great '' makes such a change, you leave that house with a smile, you're set up. Its also really builds you up.






Of course I still get down days, of course I do, i'm only human like you. It's easy to instantly think negatively and not see any good in yourself. Self confidence and knowing your worth is what makes you want to push yourself and challenge yourself into making your dreams // goals and wants a reality. I hope this helps some of you, I know it can take a while to be able to build your confidence but myself, I started small and then built myself up now I feel happy in my own skin, this is who I am. I only get one body, one mind etc I should embrace what I have. Embrace my skills, embrace my talents and be comfortable in my own skin.